Also realize that children tend to assume the habitual facial expressions of their parents. For many years as a kid growing up, I was anxious around my father. It wasn’t what he said or did, but how he looked. He always had a very stern expression, an incredibly serious face. For years I thought that he was angry, with me or something I had or hadn’t done. And though more than a few times I was the source of his frustration as a parent, it wasn’t until much later in life that I realized that was just the way he looked. It was his default expression, his face when the mask he wore to the office came off.
It blew me away years later when while on a walk, my own son asked me, "Dad, what's wrong?" When I replied that nothing was wrong, he asked, "Well why do you look so mad?"
I looked at him and smiled. "How's this?" I asked.
"Much better dad."
The 40-Year-Old Frown. A few years ago I noticed that most people over 40, especially women, frown most of the time. The frown is their default expression. Take a look—you may have to go only as far as the nearest mirror—and watch the people around you who are over 40. See how most of them are frowning. That expression has a bad effect on their mood. Over time they begin to feel as sad as they look, which may be one reason so many people struggle with depression.
Develop a habit of smiling, to others at work and at home. This habit is especially important for those in management positions, or for parents, teachers, coaches, customer service representatives, sales people, clergy, and anyone else in contact with the general public. As a manager, I found that whenever I spoke with my staff—whether at a meeting or simply discussing some challenge—everything went better if I smiled. The employees would smile and feel better and as
expressions can powerfully influence your feelings, it is important to develop the habit of wearing facial expressions that express confidence and cheerfulness as opposed to sadness, worry, or anger.
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